The opposite day I swallowed the just about 4 hours of interview that Elon Musk was given on a podcast at daybreak. This time Musk didn’t smoke a joint, however He puffed himself a number of güiscazos whereas he gave his tongue a nasty factor. I received a few Hudsons with ice cap to accompany.
Mendacity on the couch, he listened to how the interplanetary trilero made predictions like somebody who throws firecrackers at carnival. Some have been cool cantidubi, like that in two years we may have a rocket airlift that orgasms will be 100 times better with your Neuralink chip. If it is true, it will swell to promote, I assumed. He additionally advised a joke about making a Tesla that floated a meter and a half above the bottom.
That is the place I used to be – between Musk’s foolish stuff and a sip of whiskey for the menda lerenda – when out of the blue the uncle appeared in my front room. It materialized like this, within the air, within the hologram of Star Trek, with the sound of Home windows 95 beginning. He wore a tunic of Recall however extra molongui. And as a substitute of sporting ensaimadas just like the Princess Leia, I used to be sporting Apple AirPods Max. In a single hand he held the crystal ball of Alaska. Within the different, a censer filled with maria and patchouli. He had a pantocrator aura. Pantocrator a la Carlos Jesús, that of “blessed be it, in the name of Yahweh” and such. Musk got here from Ganymede or brown peaks, I nonetheless do not know for certain.
– Shit, Elon Musk! – I exclaimed, sitting up out of the blue and pouring a splash of bourbon on prime.
– Jezú, maganto peazo. I’ve come to let you know about three ‘predictions’ – advert. He stated it in English with a Malaga accent, however I put the subtitles in order that all of us perceive one another.
I used to be hallucinating in colours. This should have been a response to the bourbon with Cola-Cao with cookies I had had for dinner. The Social Safety physician already warned me: don’t combine the Chiquilín with the whiskey. It is worse than mixing the cupcakes with the Redoxon.
Musk sat subsequent to me and, crossing his legs like a cupletist, started to inform me the three predictions. The primary was that if I did not go away Cola-Cao at night time, I would not be previous 52. I do not know what in regards to the lumps, he defined. These of the blood, not the Cola-Cao, is known. That nothing worthwhile was going to come back out of me, because it says El Langui. However they’d additionally advised me that within the Social Safety.
Then he advised me that Jon Snow took Daenerys within the penultimate episode of Recreation of Thrones. The bastard knew I hadn’t completed it and he wished to blow me up the tip for having gotten into it a number of weeks in the past. To fuck, it’s understood. What this Aramís Fuster didn’t know is that he had already learn it to me on Wikipedia.
– Okay, Elon, thanks for coming – I stated somewhat to the smoke diodes and Malaga English.
– Wait, ciborium. That I’ve received higher – he answered me with that smile that he places on the psychopath of the Silence of the Lambs. Then he grew to become very critical and advised me: “flying automobiles won’t ever attain something”. They’re silly, like the simpsons monorail.
What do we wish flying automobiles for? What good is it to us to fly in a society that’s shot in the direction of excessive constancy telepresence? If solely in a few years we may have the Apple Glass, which may have an augmented actuality FaceTime because the star software, why the hell do you wish to get right into a flying automotive? The place are you going to fly? To the workplace? To the station? To the airport? Are there going to be half 1,000,000 automobiles flying over Gran Vía and Pirulí? The flying automotive is nonsense, man of God. Musk was warming up.
What we must always do is transfer completely for what’s strictly vital. For pleasure. Or the struggling of feeling the seaside sand in your swimsuit. What angers you essentially the most. For that you do not want a flying automotive: there are infinitely extra environment friendly types of transportation.
For what we do more often than not – to work – we may have augmented actuality. Think about with the ability to meet wherever on this planet immediately, materialize as a hologram indistinguishable from actuality to share a typical house with out losing time scrolling. With the ability to keep at residence and use on a regular basis saved from the site visitors jam to have some beer and a few iron razors at Paco’s bar. Identical to he was doing it in my front room, together with his digital botafumeiro and every thing. Though this needed to be augmented actuality 3.zero as a result of the room already smelled between Dutch espresso and a brothel in Ciudad Actual.
I had Darth Vader Than seize the keys to your TIE Advance and hit the hyper freeway bypass each time he wished to satisfy with the plumbers who have been tiling his rest room in his flat on the Loss of life Star? Effectively no. Not even to interrupt their necks. I even did that from a distance.
It’s absurd to waste time, vitality and the planet’s assets on this nonsense. And sure, there will probably be drones to ship bodily objects, shopper items, issues that should be tangible. To cascoporro. However folks is not going to have to journey to share an area and work as in the event that they have been in the identical place because of the know-how that Apple, Fb and Microsoft are creating for the time being. And don’t see the issues of sexual harassment that corporations are going to keep away from.
Flying automobiles will probably be bullshit for millionaires, like helicopters, however with 4 blades.
– I stated – he sentenced, as he received up from the couch.
– Hey, Musk, wait, majete, since I’ve you right here. What about these of Ferrovial and its flying taxi airport what it wants to do by putting the ladle in the Covid recovery fund? – requested.
– ¿Ezo ‘? Ezo ‘ They’ve the face of strengthened concrete, like all their ‘bridge, for the glory of my mom. Jaaaaaarl.
All of the sudden, Musk had reworked into Chiquito de la Calzada. And with that, it disappeared.